


Romeo and Juliet but they're not totally dumbasses

by Mandy_Shroom



Category: Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare, SHAKESPEARE William - Works
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bets & Wagers, F/M, Fluff, Love, M/M, Marriage, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:13:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21741907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mandy_Shroom/pseuds/Mandy_Shroom
Summary: Instead of leaving when the Nurse came to talk to Romeo, Benvolio and Mercutio decided investigate what was going on.Well, Mercutio did. Benvolio wanted to respect his cousin's privacy, so blame Mercutio when it all goes wrong.Does it, though?Featuring a nosey Mercutio, and exasperated Benvolio, and a dumb bet
Relationships: Benvolio Montague & Romeo Montague, Juliet Capulet/Romeo Montague, Mercutio & Benvolio Montague, Mercutio & Romeo Montague, Mercutio/Benvolio Montague
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	Romeo and Juliet but they're not totally dumbasses

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Sorry, this is probably the first story I've ever posted to any site. I'm never really comfortable posting my work, because I'm usually not proud of it, but we'll see how this goes.

"Romeo, I must speak with you in private," the lady urged, and Romeo followed her to a nearby alleyway.

Benvolio watched as his friend walked away, a little curious, but respectful of his cousin's privacy. Mercutio, on the other hand, had no such qualms. The blonde royalty trailed after Romeo like a duckling, which caused Benvolio to sigh and follow behind him.

"Friar Laurence has agreed to marry us, you need only-" Benvolio could hear Romeo talking quietly, before Mercutio jumped 'round the corner.

"What's this about marriage? Romeo, truly you mustn't have fallen for this old woman?" When Benvolio finally caught up, Mercutio was grinning at a flustered Romeo, and the poor lady looked ready to smack the blonde.

Quickly stepping in front of his taller friend, Benvolio tried to break up the fight before it started. As well as learn more about this marriage.

"What I think Mercutio is _trying_ to say is, 'you're getting married?'" Benvolio asked, lifting his arms ever so slightly as to stop the blonde from doing anything stupid. Which, of course, would do nothing to stop the man, but it's the thought that counts.

Romeo, for his sake, looked rather red, and could barely string two words together, much less form a sentence. The lady's face softened ever so slightly, and then explained the situation herself.

"Romeo wishes to marry Juliet, the only child of Lord and Lady Capulet," the lady said, as if that cleared everything up. Benvolio's eyebrows shot up, confusion marring his face. "They met last night, at Lord Capulet's masquerade party. They fell in love, and now wish to be married."

"Romeo…" Benvolio trailed off, staring at his lovestruck cousin. _Well, at least its not Rosaline. But Rosaline would've been better then the fucking heir!_

"Were you discussing wedding plans then?" Mercutio interrupted Benvolio's thoughts, setting a hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him aside so he could stand next to him. "May I be of some help? I do love weddings." Benvolio whipped his head to stare at Mercutio. _Not fucking helping!!_

The lady, meanwhile, glanced at the still-red Romeo, before turning to face Mercutio again. “Well, I suppose. I am Angelica, Juliet’s nurse, and currently her voice, as she cannot leave her home.” She offered her hand to Mercutio, who simply stared at it.

Benvolio, having more manners than his royal friend, quickly took her hand and bowed, kissing it lightly. “I am Benvolio Montague,” he said as he stood up again. “Romeo’s cousin. And the blonde lump beside me is Mercutio, kinsman to Prince Escalus.” He couldn’t help but grin when that earned him an elbow in his side. 

“Now, what do you mean, wedding? I thought you liked Rosaline?” He asked, directing the last question at Romeo. The mention of Rosaline snapped Romeo out of it.

“Rosaline? Ugh, no. I simply followed your advice. I went to the party, I met a pretty girl, and I fell in love,” Romeo stated, rather matter-of-factly. As if it wasn’t a big deal that he just moved from one girl to the next. Although, knowing Romeo, it really wasn’t. Hopefully, though, this one would stick, especially since she seemed to like him back, and they were talking of marriage.

“Romeo. You know I love you, so don’t take this lightly. Are you _sure_ about her? Absolutely, positively?” Benvolio asked, placing his hands on Romeo’s shoulders, staring him in the eye. That snapped the man out of his reverie.

"Yes, Benny. Of this, I don't think I could _be_ more certain," his voice held such confidence, such love, that Benvolio could only sigh, and nod wearily.

Turning his head slightly, he looked at the nurse, Angelica.

"How can we help?"

\---

Later than day, as the three men and the Friar were waiting for Juliet in his cell, Mercutio struck up a conversation.

"You know," he drawled to the room, speaking to no one in particular. "This, wedding business is awfully exciting. Makes me almost want to get married."

Benvolio almost scoffed, but then tried to cover it up with a cough.

"Hmm? You have something to say, Benny?" His voice held a mocking tone, but as the royalty swirled to face him, his eyes held something Benvolio could not identify.

"Me? Oh, nothing," he said easily. Mercutio just raised an eyebrow. "Well, it's just the thought of you getting married," -and there goes the other eyebrow. "You could never settle down like that. You'd drop her within the week!"

"Oh yeah?" Mercutio sounded almost affronted. Against his better judgement, Benvolio nodded. 

"You would get bored! You could never stick around that long!" Benvolio went on, trying to stay quiet. "In fact, I'm honestly surprised you haven't left Romeo and I yet. Are we just exciting enough?" At this, Mercutio almost look like he bit into a lemon. A bit of hurt seeped into his eyes, and Benvolio started to feel bad, at least until his eyes suddenly sparked with a mischievous light, he opened his mouth.

"Hmm, I suppose you're right, in some ways. Do you think you would be better, at marriage? You think _you_ would last longer?" Mercutio taunted, a faint smirk on his face. Benvolio, as much as he didn't want to, fell for the bait.

"Yea, actually. I think I would. I can put up with anything. I've put up with you, haven't I?" Oh no. That was it. That was what Mercutio was looking for, based on the grin that quickly took over his face.

"Oh, so you wouldn't mind a little, _wager_ then, would you?" His grin was almost devilish, and by god was it contagious. Benvolio was slowly smiling as he nodded. "Good. Then how about…" Mercutio trailed off, as he glanced around the room. Benvolio did too, remembering that they had company for the first time. Oops.

For their part, Friar Laurence and Romeo looked really awkward, and were entirely avoiding eye contact with the other two. Mercutio laughed loudly, startling them. 

"Friar, you're free, right?" The man didn't even have time to answer before Mercutio walked over and dragged him back to Benvolio. "Marry us, please." 

"Wait what?" Benvolio's eyes were as big as dinner plates, he was sure. Before we could continue, Romeo jumped in.

"Mercutio, what? Is that really such a good idea?" Romeo asked, glancing between the 3 of them. "Isn't that kind of rash?" The twin glares from Mercutio and Benvolio was enough to silence him.

"Now, as I was saying-" before Mercutio could finish, a soft voice spoke from the door.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" Turning, Benvolio watched as the most beautiful girl he had ever seen walked into the room, glancing around at the mess that was happening. 

Romeo quickly threw himself at her, hugging her and calling her 'my darling', 'my love', and other sickly sweet pet names. That must be Juliet then. 

"Not at all, no," Mercutio grumbled under his breath as he let go of Friar Laurence, who promptly went over to the happy couple. Mercutio just stood next Benvolio, watching as they got married.

At first, Benvolio was very uncertain about this, and Romeo's devotion. After all, the man was like a puppy, falling in love with whoever gave him attention. But just watching him with Juliet, Benvolio could tell that he was truly in love. It was very much meant to be.

As the Friar finished up his prayers, Romeo and Juliet shared a tender kiss. And then Benvolio heard sniffling from beside him. He glanced at Mercutio, who wiped a tear from his eye. Then he noticed him watching.

"Its beautiful, okay? Don't judge me," he huffed, turning his head away and crossing his arms like a 5 year old. Benvolio chuckled slightly.

"I'm not, I'm not. I just didn't take you for a softie." Benvolio explained lightly, nudging him with his elbow, eyes now watching the newly-weds. They were simply staring at each other, talking quietly.

It was quiet for a bit, as the Friar went about his other business, and the married couple were spending as much time as possible together before Juliet had to leave.

Then Benvolio heard a mumble from beside him. He glanced at Mercutio. The man was tucked into himself, like a turtle. It seemed almost wrong, somehow, that the usually loud and boisterous was acting, well, nervous.

"What?" He asked, wondering if he said anything at all or if he just imagined it.

"So?" The blonde said again, a little louder. Oh, so he did say something.

"So what?"

"Do you want to? You know…"

"Do what? I'm sorry, I'm lost"

Mercutio groaned. It seemed he was done with words, even though he didn't say very many. The royalty simply waved in the direction of Friar Laurence, and then gestured between the two of them. _Oh. That._

"Oh." Bevolio suddenly felt very warm. _Is it hot in here? We should open a window. Is there anyone windows?_ His thoughts rambled on, as he struggled to think of what to say. "Uh, sure? But what will the winner get?"

Mercutio seemed to expand a bit more. He stood up straighter, with a slight smile upon his lips. "I suppose that's up to the victor, is it not? I mean, when I win, I want to choose whatever. I. Please."

"You mean, when _I_ win." Benvolio grinned, delighted to be bantering back and forth again. "I agree to that though. Whatever we want." He stuck out his hand.

Mercutio grinned back, and quickly shook his hand. "Oh Friar!"

The call once again startled the other people in the room who were not paying attention. Friar Laurence simply sighed and made his way over to them.

"Please join your hands," the Friar instructed, and they did just that. The man began to speak a long, low prayer, blessing this union and blah blah, Benvolio tuned him out.

All he could think about was _oh god what is my family going to think_ and _were Mercutio's hands always this soft?_

"To seal this union, you must do so with a kiss," the Friar interrupted his thoughts, and that brought them to a startling halt. _Oh yeah. Forgot about this part._

Based on his smirk, Mercutio didn't forget. He simply grabbed Benvolio's face and pulled him into a kiss. A warm, beautiful kiss that made him weak at the knees. Then before he knew it, it was over and he was simply staring in Mercutio's eyes and clutching onto his shoulders.

_Oh no,_ Benvolio thought, watching as Mercutio's eyes glistened, almost as if he knew what he was doing to Benvolio. _This is going to be harder than I thought._

**Author's Note:**

> And that's that! I know its super duper short, but I still like it. I might continue it, but that's really only if people like it and/or I get some more inspiration. Its currently midnight when I'm uploading this, sooo


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